just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
