you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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