shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
