well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
