You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
