i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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