Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
