I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
