I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
