I think I died a long time ago.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I did not marry a roomba.
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