Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
