Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
