that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So. Much. Porn.
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