Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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