apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm just crazy horny about you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
