I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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