here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
