you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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