She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
