Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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