idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I smell stomach acid.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
