I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
