508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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