go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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