I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
