Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
