My underwear smells like fireworks.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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