I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
