My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
