found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
