Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
