I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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