Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My feet surprised me
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