i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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