Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
