how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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