I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
