I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The air was thick with penises
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
