Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
