How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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