get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
