FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My breath smells like gin and sadness
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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