Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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