I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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