Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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