guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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