It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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