doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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