Tell her she can't have a vagina
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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