What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
