So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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