she woke up with a sticky ear
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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