Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
