O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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