sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
