Do you still have your period?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
